Children are prone to have many emotionally upsetting experiences during childhood; these can include a range of emotions such as sadness, fear and anger expressed as a response to many different stresses present in their lives.
These experiences are aggravated by the fact that most children are unable to verbalize their feelings and this leads to frustration, the emotional trauma is intensified by the child’s inability to express it. Because of this fact, children may find a release for their pent up emotions and feelings through angry outburst, by behaviors such as withdrawal, and by displays of vague physical symptoms such as abdominal pain, physical and mental fatigue, or these emotions can be manifested in the child by the presence of a headache.
Other symptoms which are not related to a physical activity such as sweating in the palms, the feet and the face can also be present, these includes other physical signs of stress such as dizzy spells; the child may also suffer from chronic headaches; from trembling and tremors in the body; through the contraction of conditions like hives, sleep disturbances and insomnia.
The child acts in such a way because to him or her, it is the only way of getting the message across, even though parents may feel that the behavior or response thus manifested seems not to match or portray the underlying feeling, parents should pay attention to the particular behaviors displayed and not merely ignore them.
For example, a child says, “I hurt,” may indicate an actual physical pain and a parent should explore the physical cause of the pain, but the parent must not lose sight of possible psychological or emotional pain; the pain may simply be the verbalization of an emotional symptom. One should always search for the deeper emotional meanings and symptoms as they could well be the reason for the child’s behavior in a certain way, in all cases look for the deeper emotional needs that may need to be addressed; instead of focusing only on possible physical symptoms of the complaint.
Because children often find it difficult to speak their minds and articulate things, you should strive to help your child verbalize his or her feelings in order to clarify what is wrong. You may simply say “It seems that there is something that you want or need right now” is there? Keep questioning the child and maintain interest in him or her; sometimes children just want attention and acting up may be how they intend to achieve it.
As a parent you may also be able to get at the deeper meaning behind a certain behavior by asking questions like Do you know what that is?” or, “What are you hurting about?” such questions will help you get a clear idea on what it is that the child is on the lookout for.
By keeping close to the child in this way, he or she will feel that you are interested in his or her problems; this is very important, the child must feel that you really care about him or her. Help your child without pushing him or her, to express her feelings by being willing to be patient, by listening carefully to the words used and by being attentive to her needs. Remind yourself that all that the child may be seeking could be an acknowledgement from you about his or her condition and a feeling that she or he is being listened too.
Do not give the usual quick solutions, such as the commonly carried out by most parents, which is to simply give a quick kiss and ignore the child. Instead make sure that you spend time sitting with your child, hold him or her, and let him or her know that you understand the hurt or the feelings that is troubling him or her. Say things like “I see that you are hurting,” which confirms your acknowledgements of his or her situation or you can say “I see that you are need more of my time,” or perhaps “You’re right, it is so sad that that happened.”
By statements like these you let the child know that his or her problems are being addressed and you are making sure that he or she will become alright. One of the greatest joys and one of the most fulfilling roles you play as a parent are in acknowledging your child’s feelings and in situations when you help him or her to articulate those feelings clearly. You are building and bolstering your child’s self esteem and confidence in this way.
An environment that protects and nurtures are the places where children, the child should feel safe and secure- he or she must receive plenty of love and support, and guidance from his or her parents at home. Problems present in the family such as marital discord, the impact of major changes and instability, or some ongoing emotional conflict within the family have a big impact on how the child perceives the world and more importantly, it affects the child’s sense of identity. It is wrong to think that children may not be aware of familial discords because you have not told them; in fact, it may be affecting him or her more than it does the parents.
The best assumption should be that the child needs support and assurances because realistically he or she does know what is going on. The sensitivity of children to emotional turmoil is akin to a weathervane. Children can immediately become aware of all developing conflicts within a family and they seem to posses a natural ability to pick up on feelings and potential areas of conflicts; they are also attuned to major changes occurring in their immediate environment.
Make sure that you inform the child at least of the bare facts if some major change or conflict has hit the family; do it in a language the child can understand, this involves the child in the family and he or she feels wanted and belongs even though times may be tough. Children must not be left to guess or fend around with themselves for clues as to the reality of the situation, include them in all discussions concerning the family and especially to problems that might directly affect them.
This is because, if a child is left in the dark, the form of explanations and analysis he or she may come up with could be far from reality and he or she could easily frighten himself or herself by childish inventions of the imaginations; such events can then directly affect his or her life in an adverse way.
You should seek help from a medical doctor, when the child’s behavior or emotional outburst does not cease even after you have identified the problem and addressed it in the most compassionate way you could, after you have exhausted all possibilities on your part, you must seek help if the behavior has actually worsened in any way, or if the emotional and other problems the child has is beginning to affect his or her performance at school or is disrupting the normal flow of your life in any major way.
It is best to leave the handling of a child to a counselor when it involves certain permanent events in the family likely to cause immense amounts of psychological trauma, these situations can include a divorce or a death in the family; in all such cases, regardless of how a child measures up, a counselor is the best person to handle the child. Children can get a better grip on their emotions during session with the counselor either done in a group or individual counseling session, the professional counselor will help the child express his or her opinions in a better way and will help the child deal with emotional problems.
Because growing up involves a lot of complications and an ever expanding playing field as well as numerous changes most children need emotional support and guidance through adolescence, and most people will be happy to have such guidance throughout life. The best way to support a child as a parent is to be aware of the child’s needs and desires, this ensures that you meet his or her emotional and other concerns; this is a big part of parental responsibility and one of its chief rewards.
Supplements and herbs
The stress and nervous tensions that affects a child can be treated using the herbal chamomile tea that helps calm elevated mental states in the child and helps him or her deal with the stress of life. Dosage of this herbal tea for children can include a single dose of the tea as and when needed or on a daily basis. The nervous system can be calmed through the use of the oat straw, which is also very nourishing and calming to the nervous system.
Over an extended period of time, the use of this herb will help the child deal successfully with stressful emotions and other mental trauma. Dosage of the oat straw tea for children can be a single dose of the herbal tea, taken two times each day, or as and when it is needed. Headaches often follow nervousness and stress, the skullcap is helpful in the treatment of anxiety, nervousness and other impaired mental states. Dosage of this herb for children can be a single dose of the herb taken once every day for a treatment period lasting up to two weeks in total.
For you attention: children younger than six years of age should not be given this herb.